Karnival

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Karnival

It is hard to believe I have been in Sweden for a month but calendars don’t lie so it must true.  I had thought to write weekly but since much like everyday life, I don’t do much of anything interesting most of the time, I didn’t really see the point.  Actually, I haven’t really done anything interesting this week either, but I have more pictures now.  Also, I’ve had another week to see Swedish students in their natural habitat (much like American students but with more group singing) and explore the bike paths and trail systems of Lund and to learn more about how the Swedish live and what they eat.

I still have some...

Since it has been pretty cold for the last two weeks and kind of rainy, extensive exploration was less desirable and sitting inside reading far more desirable.  I’ve been reading a lot, which doesn’t make for a interesting narrative at all.

As you have seen, I was given a really nice office in the Pufendorf Institute and so when I get tired of sitting in my house I walk across the gravel driveway and go sit in the office and work there for awhile.  Most of my days have been spent in one of these two locations.  Or at the climbing gym.

However, my colleague who invited me here, Stefan, also works with the folks at the Lund Internet Institute, which just so happens to have its offices in a castle in a nearby city.  So, last week he invited me to go work there.  This involved a longer commute than across the driveway, but Stefan was super nice and drove me, meaning I avoided taking the train, even though I like trains. 

The castle was really cool and the Internet Institute offices were on the second floor beyond the gift shop so it required going up another spiral staircase.   

Spiral Staircase in the Castle

I am finally getting the hang of walking on spiral staircases … it takes some practice.   The climbing gym has one too and I live in fear that I will fall down that one which will not inspire confidence in my fellow climbers about my climbing abilities.

The castle is close to the water and you can see Denmark in the distance.  It has two moats, one of my favorite castle defenses, with the possible exception of trap doors in the floor, which I think I only see as a castle defense because of the Playmobile castle, possibly the coolest kids toy ever.  

From the window of the Lund Internet Institute (in Landskrona)

The moat

The lack of a drawbridge defeats the original purpose of the moat

I have urged Joe to build a moat around our cabin.  However, instead of water, our cabin moat would have snakes in it – so really more of a snake pit than a moat. Joe has ignored my request, probably because he hates snakes.  However, maybe we will get a spiral staircase….

Back to my work week – nothing exciting happened.  I did not solve any pressing intellectual puzzles that will make the world a better place.  I did spend considerable hours looking at 700 pages of comments from people who fileshare on The Pirate Bay about their privacy issues – that was interesting.   I also read more about brains and creativity.  This was also interesting.  Then, the U.S. indicted some Chinese hackers and that made me start to revise my paper on securitizing IP – so that was interesting too, at least to me.

I had planned this past weekend to take the train to Malmo and check out the city.  It is bigger than Lund and lots of people who work here live there.  However, this past weekend turned out to be the weekend for Lund’s Carnival – which in Swedish is one word -- Lundakarnevalen.  This event happens once every four years and is put on by the students at Lund University.  It has taken over the town. I live close enough to the carnival grounds that sleep isn’t really an option until they shut down at night.

On Saturday there was a parade.  It was the best parade ever.  Pretty much everyone in Lund who wasn’t in the parade was lining the streets to watch it.  Now, given that everything was in Swedish, I am not entirely sure what most of the floats were about, but I think I can describe the basic algorithm for themes. 

First, the theme of the Karnival is the future, so there had to be some sort of futuristic component to the float – this involved a lot of aluminum foil and paper mache.  

Tractor covered in aluminum foil

Second, I believe that you had to have some educational component that was aligned with something from the school.  There were lots and lots of placards and banners and stuff, which may or may not have been educational.  However, there were floats that seemed to have lots of medical themes and this seemed to mean that these were med students.  Either that or everyone just took the theme of the carnival literally and decided that in the future they would be old.  More than one group with wheel chairs and IV bags and dental equipment were there. I have no idea why these would be in a parade unless they were meant to indicate some sort of educational affiliation.  

Dental themed float

Third, you have to dress funny.

As a child I remember going to the 4^th of July parade in Black Diamond Washington, not a particularly well-known parade destination, but the only parade I ever remember attending.  What I most remember about this is that pretty much everyone in the parade threw candy at us and all the children were engaged in a Darwinian struggle to acquire the most candy possible as if we were starving or deprived, which may have been true for the children of Black Diamond, I don’t know.  So, I was expecting lots of candy to be thrown because in my mind that is what parades are for. 

This parade didn’t have any candy but one group catapulted a bagel at us.  I have no idea why – their wheelbarrow/catapult did not give an indication of why bagels or why they would launch them at us, or what it had to do with the future.  As you can imagine, there was not as large a scramble for the bagel as there would have been had it been candy.  I didn't get a picture of them because I was startled by the bagel.

 I took lots of pictures…. and a parade is best narrated by pictures.

There was the Swedish House Mafia float, but strangely no ABBA float....

Swedish House Mafia

This was the narcissist float -- I think.

The song was about selfies

Then there was the NSA/Santa float which seemed like a weird combination until they held up their informational sign in English.

Then in the distance I saw what looked like a giant penis coming our way.

Looked like a giant penis float

But I just figured it was my imagination because what possible theme could there be attached to a giant penis?

In the mean time, this float went past -- and of course is much funnier if you don't know the English translation.

Possibly the oldest car I have seen in this country

 Then the giant penis float was closer and it still looked like a giant penis...

Then, it was there and yep, it was a giant penis float.  I am sure there is an educational theme involved somewhere.

The people in white are sperm

 Then there were the people on bike/toilets.

And some other political floats like the Gay Russia float.

And the one I didn't understand that had Obama and Putin as fruit... possibly a commentary on vegetarianism?  And lots of people dressed up as fruit and possibly cows.

And then last came some police officers on horses.  This was notable because I had not yet seen a police officer either during the parade or in the town -- it is without police for the most part.  AND people can legally drink in public here -- how have they not spiraled into chaos?  In the US a parade like this would have required hundreds of police,  most likely in black combat gear.

The fire department was there too -- watching the parade from on top of their truck.

And then the parade was over.

After the weekend celebration I was again transported to Landskrona where the castle is for a two-day workshop with the DigiTrust group, which is my working group.  Since they were holding the meeting in Swedish I was mostly just there so I would feel included.  When we arrived, Stefan provided me with about a dozen books on Trust to read, which was the academic equivalent of putting a kid in a sandbox and telling them to play quietly by themselves for awhile.  I had my many papers to work and since I can't understand Swedish, I found the background conversation to be sort of soothing. 

During our breaks I tried to learn more about Sweden by asking all sorts of questions that were not necessarily in anyone’s field of expertise. 

I learned, for example, that University is free here so nobody pays to go to school.  You can then take out a loan to cover your living expenses which means most students don’t work while they attend University. 

I learned that there are not that many vicious predators in Sweden – there are some bears and possibly a wolf, and wild boars, but mostly nothing too scary.  As a result, the Swedes have initiated a war on what they call “murder snails,” which turn out to be brown slugs.  They sound much more vicious when you call them murder snails.  It is an ongoing but very slow war where the slugs win by sheer numbers.  Learning about murder snails helps to explain why one of my German climber friends picked up a slug off the sidewalk and hid it in the bushes when we were walking back from the climbing gym, a behavior I found incredibly strange.  He said he was trying to save it from being killed by the Swedish who hate slugs, but until I learned about the murder snails I didn’t really get it. 

When I told the Digitrust group about the foot long leopard slugs and the banana slugs and the brown slugs in the Pacific Northwest, there was silence and then one of them merely commented that you can tell a lot about a culture by how many words they have for something.   

I am not sure this was praise given how they feel about slugs. 

Given that I am a nerd and thus attracted to all things nerdy, we also discussed superheros and comic books and Dungeons and Dragons.  It turns out that batman translates more like “leatherman” in Sweden, which kind of gives him a different superpower.  Also, I asked if there were any Swedish superheros.  They said no, that Marvel comics had taken the Norse god Thor, which was the closest thing they had to a superhero. Otherwise they didn’t really feel the need to create superheros so they just read about ours.  Then we bemoaned the loss of paper-based role playing games because they are different from the computer ones.

From one of my new climbing friends I also learned about an old Nordic game called ‘fingercrook’ which is when you hook your fingers together and then try to throw each other off balance.  It turns out I can be taken down with a single finger really quickly.  However, obviously since this game has not made it big in the U.S., but is evidently played a lot here, I will have to practice.  Though part of me things he just made up the fact that it is a popular game here so he could push me down.

I also learned that the Swedish don't understand American gun culture which they find sort of psychotic but I cannot help them in explaining it.  Of course, very few people own pick up trucks here too -- so that isn't explainable either.

I also learned that the Swedish have to be in touch with alien life.  Outside the castle is what Stephan said was a “water tower,” but shaped like no water tower I have ever seen.  Perhaps it really is a water tower, but nobody could explain why it is built to look like a UFO or why it has an antenna on top. 

Shouded in fog -- picture taken by Fredrik Åström

 So, after three weeks here, I have settled in a bit and will clearly need to find something more interesting to blog about in the future!

The Swedish are not very good capitalists....

The Swedish are not very good capitalists....

Aside from making you smarter (its true, I saw it on Facebook), international travel gives you the opportunity to do some cross-cultural comparison.  Since I’m coming from the land of free market capitalism, I feel as if I am qualified to make an argument for why the Swedish are bad capitalists.

First, imagine my surprise when I showed up at the office on May 1^st only to find out I was the only one there. 

Actually, I had been warned this might happen, but it makes a better story if I was surprised by it.

It was May Day, which outside the United States is a holiday that celebrates workers, sort of like the American labor day but more global and socialist in tone. Since the building was vacant I didn’t really stay there very long on May Day.  I went for a walk and found that many of the city residents were listening to a brass band close to downtown.  It was very celebratory. 

I think the Swedish like brass bands.  

For reasons I assume have to do with normal everyday Swedish culture, there was a brass band on the train platform in Stockholm when I was leaving last week.  Also, I passed a different brass band playing Sunday at an outdoor café.   

Along with spiral staircases and brass bands, I think another difference between the US and Sweden is that lots of people put ladders on their roofs here.  

Roof Ladders

Not sure what the roof is made of -- looks slippery.

 If I had to guess, I’d say it was because the roofs are made of tile and/or slate and are thus fragile to walk on.  Still lots of ladders on roofs -- you must have to get on the roof a lot here.

The Swedish also have  a very neighborly way of trying to reunite people with their lost mittens and gloves.  You just hang them on a tree.

 

Of course, I walked past the mitten tree again today and someone had taken them all away.  So you have to check quickly I guess.

Anyway, May 1^st was a Thursday but it would appear that May 2^nd was also a holiday since nobody really showed up at the institute that day either.

So it was a short week.

But I am not saying the Swedish don’t get capitalism because of May Day and their clear affinity with the worker.  Nor am I saying it because the stores are not open 24 hours a day in order to ensure that my every consumer whim is met.  Nor am I saying it because you don’t have to tip the wait staff here or because being a Ph.D. candidate means you are actually employed by the state and get a year’s maternity (or paternity) leave if you happen to have a kid.   These are all part of the evils of socialism. 

I’m saying they don’t get capitalism because it took me almost a week to figure out how to pay for a climbing gym membership.  It seems a simple rule of capitalism is that it should be really easy to take people’s money.   

Not the case here.  

(I will say that the pure number of high end cars in this city suggests that some people here are actually very good at capitalism --– I didn’t even know Maserati made a convertible roadster until one drove past me!)

Perhaps it is just that the Swedish like convoluted forms of capitalism, since I was ultimately able to pay for a climbing gym membership.  However, the membership is at a price that clearly includes no profit for anybody.  All told, purchasing a membership and the separate climbing card required three different trips to the climbing gym, discussions with three different 20-something climber-dude “employees” and ultimately getting to climb for free twice.  

The second time was free only because the 20-something climber dude at the desk turned out to be a volunteer and so wasn’t charging anyone that night.   

I should of course mention that there are no liability forms to sign here either.

Which makes you wonder how they get away with the playground equipment that achieves a level of strangeness and dangerousness that can only be a US trial attorney’s fantasy.  Clearly another reason the Swedish are bad capitalists.  In American one of the sure ways to riches is to either be a trial attorney and/or represent others by suing in the case of an injury on say, playground equipment.  (Yes, I am bitter about the ongoing access to climbing and fear of lawsuits issue in Hawaii). Imagine what could be done with playground equipment like this!   

When was the last time you saw a little kid slack line?   

Slack line for kids is in the front

Or a weird spider-webby pyramid that looks designed to kill a child?   

Swedish playground equipment

The evils of socialism are beginning to show – they are clearly anti-children here. 

Anyway, much like I will continue to document spiral staircases (the climbing gym has one made out of wood) and ladders on roofs, I will seek out all the ways Sweden is bad at capitalism and report back. 

Like, the fact the pirate party is here -- (though they are not specifically anti-capitalist unless you are the American recording or movie industry).

Discerning the variations in capitalist structures has not been my only occupation, however.

I decided on Saturday that I would take advantage of the Institute bikes and bike to the nearby national forest.  

The bike turned out to be a three speed with the rear brake in the pedals.  I have not ridden a bike with pedal breaks since I was 10 – and that one had a banana shaped seat.  This one comes with a basket and a bell. 

I had mapped out the route to the national forest, which was about 11 km away in the next town – Dalby (another evil of socialism is that everything is in the metric system here).  What is most impressive is that you can ride a bike from Lund to Dalby on bike paths the entire way!  Which I did. 

 

My bike was not built for speed and it turned out I had a tail wind going there, so the way back wasn’t as easy, but even so, it was a form of non-motorized utopia.

More like a bike freeway...

I am not sure it could be more picturesque

Yes -- I see why people complain about how ugly windmills are... I would much prefer an oil rig and dead plants everywhere.

Actually not sure what they are growing...

The national forest, I must say, was a bit more like an urban metro park.  It had very nice trees and walking paths, but was pretty small and surrounded by fields.   

The trees were kinda small...

Not climbable

That being said, it appears from the maps that there are semi-contiguous patches I have not yet seen so I may have to go back and explore further on future weekends.

So much for an exciting weekend.

Monday marked the celebration of the 5^th anniversary of the Pufendorf Institute.   

It tasted good too...

 There is a two-day celebration planned and as a guest scholar, I was on the agenda.

I am not sure how I missed it, but there is a portrait of Pufendorf in the entryway of the building – which kind of says all you need to say at this point about the man.

Pufendorf

Also, he was German. 

I went to the introductory event, which everyone neglected to say would be in Swedish until after we were all sitting down.  Then since it would be rude and awkward to leave, I just sat there for an hour listening to people speak Swedish and sometimes pretending I got the jokes.

The afternoon panel was the visiting scholars so that was in English. 

I must say that another way you can tell the Swedish are not really all that driven by capitalism is the way the Pufendorf Institute described is raison d’etre at the anniversary event, which had to do with creating the space in which to think and take wrong turns and develop collaborative and multidisciplinary networks.  A kind of academic utopia. 

The mix here is quite eclectic.  One of the other themes pursuing a different research agenda is focused on animals.  The other visiting scholar is this really nice woman from New Zealand who studies chicken cognition.  Yes, I have long asserted the intelligence of chickens in the face of much mockery.  Well, it turns out there is someone who has actually published the evidence to provide this!

These chickens were actually living in the park -- they are not as miserable as they look here.

 We were also treated to a lunch time opera improvisation.  This turned out to be a classically trained opera singer and her piano accompaniment doing something like theatre improve, but with opera. It is hard to explain.

I got to eat lunch with an astrobiologist/astronomer and talk about extraterrestrial life. 

Also, someone said that I had once reviewed a paper of theirs’ for a journal.  So much for blind peer review.

All in all it was a very interesting event, even if half of it was in Swedish and I didn’t understand what was going on.

Since the subject has turned marginally to Swedish language, I must say my efforts at learning Swedish are still infantile.  Some signs are easy to figure out.  Others not so much, like this one:

It turns out this is the not-so elegant to the English ear way of saying “exit.”

 

Someone at the climbing gym tried to teach me the word for callus today but I told him that my vocabulary had not advanced to that level yet. 

He wasn’t a capitalist either – it turns out you can major in rock climbing in high school!